And up again......

So here this rollercoaster goes up again (and up it will stay). I am so excited! I went in for my doctor's appointment today and the nurse saw 12 follicles on my right ovary and 9 on the left. I thought from our previous conversation that this would not be so good. The nurse smiled and said " I think you are all ready!" She explained that the Doctor may want me to trigger (Ovulation Shot) tonight and start the IUI tomorrow. We went from having to buy more medicine, extending the process, and being a possible candidate for IVF -to- now being ready to ovulate and this happened all in just one night. PRAYER WORKS!!!!! I just got the confirmation call and we will in fact continue the proces as the nurse explained. After the procedure is the 2 week wait. We will be waiting for confirmation of our pregnancy, because it will happen....In Jesus' Name.

Decisions

I'm thinking and thinking about all of the options the doctor gave me and I feel strongly about continuing this process as an IUI. I feel we have come too far to start over or quit now. I just don't know what to do about the selective reduction option. It's weird because I have prayed for children and feel like God is blessing me with them; yet I'm faced with the decision to eliminate some of them should I conceive more than 2. This is a hard decision to make. The nurse said that the doctor would not agree to go foward with the process unless I sign a consent for reduction. This term selective reduction seems to be sugar coating an abortion. Women abort children for various reasons- money, family structure,health issues, etc. So to me this is no different. I would be eliminating children because of some of those same reasons. Don't get me wrong, I would not want to do anything that would jeopardize the health of my babies and their health is the only reason I'm even considering this. I know God will never put more on us than we could bear. I am praying His will be done in this situation. I pray that how many ever children He wants me to have- He gives. I pray he gives us wisdom concerning this matter. In Jesus' Name.

What a Day!

I have been extremely tired the last couple of days. Last night I had every intention to blog, but I laid on the bed just to rest for a second and the next thing you know my alarm clock was ringing for me to get ready for work the next morning. Well it's Day 5 and I had my first monitoring appointment today. I didn't know what to expect. I arrived at my 7:15 appointment, did blood work and ultrasound and that was it. They said we'll call you later on today with your levels. So this is what was on my mind all day. I had to camouflage my feelings as a they were being taken over by a flat tire, employee issues at work, speaking with contractors regarding daycare renovations, and being "therapist" for the parents whose children attend the center. The whole time I'm thinking , "What will my levels be?" "Why was the nurse so hesitant to give any results while I was there?"...and this is only the first monitoring visit. Finally, the nurse called and said that my Estradiol level was 77. So what does that mean? Is it good or is it bad? All I know is that they definately want the level to increase. It did that, but was it enough? When I asked the nurse did I have anything to worry about she said, "Not yet". What kind of response was that? Either I should or I shouldn't be concerned right now. She explained that it's too early to worry about anything right now, but for some reason I feel she's trying not to say something. They cancelled my appointment for tomorrow and told me to come on Sunday morning. Am I moving that slow to where I don't even need daily monitoring as planned? This is all too spontaneous. My type A personality is not allowing me to rest during this process. I'll just have to keep my eyes to the HILLS. Yeah, I know where my help comes from. So I pray right now for peace over this situation. I know God's has it right in the palm of His hands, and that's the safest place to be. NIGHT NIGHT! :)

It's for the cause....

I am now on day 2 of the hormone shots. They actually aren't that bad. The first day's anticipation was dreadful but after the shot I see I have nothing to worry about. I had read blogs of other women explaining the pain they felt after the shots but my experience was a piece of cake. Yeah it stung a little but that was it. Thank God. I would have hated to fear this process for the next 6-8 days. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the other day the nurse told me that there is a possiblitly that the process could end sooner than planned. When I start the daily monitoring if they notice that I have enough mature follicles present then they may trigger me sooner than day 10. I am very hopeful considering the fact that each monitoring appoinment cost about $300. Let's do the math. Each visit is $300 and they have scheduled 6 visits-that is $1800 just for doctor's visits. Did I mention my insurance does not cover any of the cost. Here is their explanantion: The decision to have a child is a life choice just as an abortion; therefore infertility is not a covered diagnosis. Does that make any since? My husband and I pay over $250/month for medical insurance. We are both generally healthy people. However, the ONE medical issue that I am faced with is not covered by my insurance. THAT IS RIDICULOUS!!! The wrong thing that you say to a woman who can't have children naturally is that her desire to have children is merely a "choice of life". I feel I have a cause to fight. There has got to be a change in the world of infertility. There was no choice for my body to lack the things necessary to conceive naturally. There is however, a human right to have children. People are out there getting procedures such as Lasik Eye Surgery- no one is telling them that "seeing" is a choice of life. Oh yeah I am very upset. My husband and I have had to save for a while to pay for this process, and we still weren't fully prepared. BUT GOD!!!! He has blessed me with great friends. Just when we thought that the financial sacrifice was too great to conquer, God sent our friends to help. One of my best friends and her husband offered to finance the monitoring visits for us. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed by their generosity. It was just enough to motivate us to finish this race we've started. THANKS WARRENS. We love you. (The Finchs and baby Finch :) )

Say What?!!??!!

Today was my first follicle ultrasound. On the way to the doctor, I had no clue as to what we were checking for. I've been to so many appointments and checked for so many things that I am somewhat lost in the whole scheme of things. However, I soon found out that we were checking to see how many follicles were present on each ovary that could possibly receive an egg during ovulation. The ultrasound tech explained that about 7-8 follicles on each ovary was adequate for the process to work. She then told me that I have 15 follicles on my right ovary and 27 on the left. This next statement absolutely blew my mind. The tech looked at me and says, "Wow...You're Fertile"!! SAY WHAT?!!??!! In all my years of ob/gyn, endocrynology and reproductive biology visits, I have never heard those words. I walked out of that room smiling as if that tech had placed my baby right in my hands. Yeah, I know it may not seem to be that big of a deal but in the infertility world, GOOD NEWS is GREAT NEWS.


So the hormone injections begin tonight. I was prescribed 1vial of Bravelle and 1 vial of Menupur for ten days. I'm ready for this!! I'm not sure of any side effects I may feel, or what mood I'll be in; but I keep reminding myself that all "mothers" make sacrifices for their children. My sacrifices are just having to start a little earlier than most. I'm excited!!

My Faith Declaration: In Jesus' Name it SHALL be done!!!

It's Here!!!

Never before have I been this excited for bloating, cramping, and moody irritation; but knowing that I am one step closer to meeting my baby makes it all worth wild. So this morning, the menstrual began. I kind of knew it was coming because the symptoms started long before it began. I called the doctor and my nurse said for me to come in first thing in the morning. I am excited, nervous, and a little scared. Most likely I will be told to start the shots tomorrow night. This is really happening! :)

Day 30 is here!!!

Finally, one step of this process is complete. I feel somewhat accomplished even though there are more steps to come. But for now, I would rather focus on how far I've come. I made it through the hormone therapy and now I ....WAIT. I wait on what seems to be the most important menstrual of my life. I'm not sure when it's coming; the nurse said perhaps 2-3 days after therapy ends. I'm trying not to let the anxiety get to me. As you see, I started this post speaking positively of what I have accomplished and now I've quickly moved on to what's to come. I hate using that word- Anxiety. I often think of the scripture "Be anxious for nothing". Sometimes I try to look for another word to describe the feeling, but it seems to be the only true fit. I'm working on it. Don't get me wrong God has been too good to me to not have faith in HIM. So the faith is there. I guess I am just so excited to see the outcome. I should be more specific about what we (my Husband and I) want. Our prayer is that we get pregnant with the first IUI cycle and that I carry and deliver a healthy baby or babies. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Yesterday was pretty much uneventful. I went to the daycare in a very crappy mood. My staff noticed it and I usually try to hide it from them. I left early because the mood was getting the best of me. As soon as I got home I napped for about 3 1/2 hours. Of course, I wasn't allowed to do anything- since the big epic fall out. My husband and in-laws acted as if I was now about to make a habit of fainting- I know it's because they care. :) I also got calls from family members who weren't there to witness this grand event (sarcasm). There were several guesses as to what the problem was; but the one that stood out the most were the guesses that I was PREGNANT. I wish that were the case. I'm excited for the day that I can make that announcement. :)