OMG!!!!!!

I AM PREGNANT. Ok so I sat here debating how I should write this entry. Should I talk about the end of the 2 week wait and then lead to the news or should I just come out with it. It seems I couldn't come up with anything else until I got those three wonderful words out. I AM PREGNANT!!!! We are so excited. I would love to say I had the patience to wait the entire two weeks but the last few days were tortuous. In fact I actually took a test on day 6 and it was negative. Though I knew it was too early to tell, I was still somehow a little disappointed. Taking that test early, however, ended up being a good thing. The doctor explained that I shouldn't test early because sometimes the trigger shot (ovidrel) will give you a false positive since it has the pregnancy hormone (HCG) in it. Well testing early (day 6) and getting a negative meant that the medicine had run its course and was no longer in my system. So on day 11, my husband and I went to the store and bought 4 pregnacy test. We both declared that even though we had the test we would still wait until day 14 to test. Well, we didn't stick to that plan. Day 12, Memorial Day, I woke up with the extreme urge to use the restroom. I turned over looked at my husband and he already knew what I wanted to do. Deep down he was anxious to see as well. So I convinced him that if it was negative I wouldn't break down, and I would understand that it could be to early to tell. Well, it wasn't. As soon as I took the test, despite the suggested three minute wait, the word "Pregnant" popped up on the screen. I was so shocked, I think there was a little disbelief. My husband looked at it and hasn't stop grinning since. I took a test everyday until day 14 and they all (digital, plus or minus, line or no line) said that I am pregnant. I called the nurse on Day 14 to tell her the news and she asked me to come in to confirm with bloodwork. After waiting all day for the results call, I was so relieved to here her say "Yes mam, you are pregnant". We are so happy, and so thankful that God has answered our prayers. Words can't express our gratitude.

....and counting

Today is day 6 of the 14 day wait. We're almost at the halfway mark and it's not easy. Days 1-4 weren't that bad. Being that the count begins the day after ovulation, days 1 and 2 were both IUI days. So needless to say those days were eventful and promising. Days 3-4 fell on a weekend and I was very tired.
Saturday(Day 3)I slept practically all day. There was a little pain in my lower abdomen that seemed to intensify as the day progressed. I remembered my doctor saying "call us if you feel like your ovaries are swollen". Ok, perhaps I'm just one of those women who is not that in touch with her body (jury still out on that one) but I had no idea what it felt like to have swollen ovaries. He said I would know, and boy was he right. I wasn't sure of the severity of the situation, but I knew something was going on.

Sunday (Day 4) : Not that eventful. Pain had subsided some, which made my day a lot better.

Monday (Day5): Today I had to go to work. I felt somewhat angry that I had to focus on anything other than what I was going through. Having my own business means that I have to put my personal feelings on the back burner and deal with everything else. Today I didn't want to do that. I felt it was so unfair for the parents to come to me with graduation, tuition, or sometimes their own personal issues at this time. I am angry with them even though they know nothing about what's going on. I think the hormones (progesterone) got the best of me. This is the day the 2ww (2 week wait) is starting to get to me. I'm confused. I don't understand completely what is going on in my body. I'm still in pain and I'm tired. I want to go home. I guess today was my "temper tantrum" day. I'm ready for this phase to be over. I called the doctor's office and they asked me to come in. They discovered that I did in fact have swollen ovaries and a little fluid around my uterus. It should go way, but I am to come back if it worsens. IT WON'T!!

Tuesday (day 6): I started today off with a prayer. I prayed for my body, my babies, my husband, and my strength. He's being a trooper but this 2ww is getting to him a little to. This day will go much better than yesterday (In Jesus's Name).

I did it!!!!

Today was day 2 of the 2 day IUI process. I am so relieved. After reading other blogs I thought it would be some awful process causing much pain. It was the complete opposite, in fact the doctor was finished before I thought he started. After he finished, I had to rest there for 15 minutes. I prayed the entire resting period. I know that God is faithful to complete this work that He has begun. Yesterday there were no effects of the procedure; today however, there is severe cramping in my lower abdomen. I don't mind though. I just look at it as my uterus preparing for my new baby (babies). Speaking of which, the doctor jokingly asked me today to concentrate on creating ONLY 2 babies. He said he didn't want his name in the media, so I am to think twins and nothing more. To be honest with you I don't care about his name being in the media. As long as I have healthy babies the number does not matter to me. We have enough love for more than one. I'm excited, a little nervous, and definately impatient. The 2 week wait begins and this I'm sure will seem to be the longest 2 weeks of my life. It's already too long, and it's just been half a day. I must find ways to stay busy.

And up again......

So here this rollercoaster goes up again (and up it will stay). I am so excited! I went in for my doctor's appointment today and the nurse saw 12 follicles on my right ovary and 9 on the left. I thought from our previous conversation that this would not be so good. The nurse smiled and said " I think you are all ready!" She explained that the Doctor may want me to trigger (Ovulation Shot) tonight and start the IUI tomorrow. We went from having to buy more medicine, extending the process, and being a possible candidate for IVF -to- now being ready to ovulate and this happened all in just one night. PRAYER WORKS!!!!! I just got the confirmation call and we will in fact continue the proces as the nurse explained. After the procedure is the 2 week wait. We will be waiting for confirmation of our pregnancy, because it will happen....In Jesus' Name.

Decisions

I'm thinking and thinking about all of the options the doctor gave me and I feel strongly about continuing this process as an IUI. I feel we have come too far to start over or quit now. I just don't know what to do about the selective reduction option. It's weird because I have prayed for children and feel like God is blessing me with them; yet I'm faced with the decision to eliminate some of them should I conceive more than 2. This is a hard decision to make. The nurse said that the doctor would not agree to go foward with the process unless I sign a consent for reduction. This term selective reduction seems to be sugar coating an abortion. Women abort children for various reasons- money, family structure,health issues, etc. So to me this is no different. I would be eliminating children because of some of those same reasons. Don't get me wrong, I would not want to do anything that would jeopardize the health of my babies and their health is the only reason I'm even considering this. I know God will never put more on us than we could bear. I am praying His will be done in this situation. I pray that how many ever children He wants me to have- He gives. I pray he gives us wisdom concerning this matter. In Jesus' Name.

Rollercoaster

Up until yesterday, my nurse described me a slow progressor. She saw 6 follicles on my right ovary and 6 on the left with an estradiol level of 343. This was pretty good for day 8 of the cycle. Well, I went to the doctor today and let's just say whatever I ate for dinner last night should be marketed as a follicle stimulating hormone. This morning they saw 9 follicles on the left ovary and 7 on the right and they were all a pretty good size, and my estradiol level was 552. So, I'm thinking this is good news. The nurse looks over the ultrasound and starts to explain that I moved at a very rapid rate in one night. So now I'm faced with several choices concerning the process. Because I have so many follicles near the goal size, they fear that several of them will fertilize. I went from not being certain this process would work, to possibly giving birth to a litter. The nurse brought the doctor in and they joked that my situation was resembling that of the infamous "octomom". To prevent this from happening the doctor suggested we convert from an IUI to an IVF (In Vitro), this would take only a certain number of eggs and mixed them with the sperm and place the mixture in my Uterus. My husband and I had already agreed that we would not let them talk us in to this. So what do I do now? I asked the doctor if I had a choice in the matter. He said yes, but tried to convince me to do the IVF. Here were my choices 1. Cancel the entire process and start over next month on a lower dosage of meds. 2. Convert to IFV 3. Continue the process and should I fertilize several eggs- the doctor would do selective reduction of the fertilized eggs. This is all so overwhelming. :(

Happy Mother's Day!!

I'm a day late, but that is every indication of how busy my Mother's Day was. It started out with the usual visit to the doctor which made it a very atypical Mother's Day. For me however, it was good news because my follicles were growing right on schedule and my estradiol level had more than doubled (6 follicles 201 Estradiol). These levels were said to be pretty good for a woman with my condition. A lot of people have been wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. Now this was not the first time that I have been wished a Happy Mother's Day, but this time I was a little more emotional after each well wish. The emotions, though sometimes tearful, was ironically joyous. I was so happy to hear so many people "speaking those things to be not as though they were" over my life. I pray that each Mother's Day wish was a message to heaven on my behalf.

May 10, 2009 also marks the 8th year of me and my husbands relationship. It was 8 years ago that he asked me to be his 'girlfriend'. We learned in church that 8 is the number of new beginnings, and boy do we have our share of those this month. I'm excited! I thankful for the life that God has given me, and I know that even my trials will one day be testimonies.

Finally we spent our first night in our new home last night. (After pictures coming soon.)

What a Day!

I have been extremely tired the last couple of days. Last night I had every intention to blog, but I laid on the bed just to rest for a second and the next thing you know my alarm clock was ringing for me to get ready for work the next morning. Well it's Day 5 and I had my first monitoring appointment today. I didn't know what to expect. I arrived at my 7:15 appointment, did blood work and ultrasound and that was it. They said we'll call you later on today with your levels. So this is what was on my mind all day. I had to camouflage my feelings as a they were being taken over by a flat tire, employee issues at work, speaking with contractors regarding daycare renovations, and being "therapist" for the parents whose children attend the center. The whole time I'm thinking , "What will my levels be?" "Why was the nurse so hesitant to give any results while I was there?"...and this is only the first monitoring visit. Finally, the nurse called and said that my Estradiol level was 77. So what does that mean? Is it good or is it bad? All I know is that they definately want the level to increase. It did that, but was it enough? When I asked the nurse did I have anything to worry about she said, "Not yet". What kind of response was that? Either I should or I shouldn't be concerned right now. She explained that it's too early to worry about anything right now, but for some reason I feel she's trying not to say something. They cancelled my appointment for tomorrow and told me to come on Sunday morning. Am I moving that slow to where I don't even need daily monitoring as planned? This is all too spontaneous. My type A personality is not allowing me to rest during this process. I'll just have to keep my eyes to the HILLS. Yeah, I know where my help comes from. So I pray right now for peace over this situation. I know God's has it right in the palm of His hands, and that's the safest place to be. NIGHT NIGHT! :)

It's for the cause....

I am now on day 2 of the hormone shots. They actually aren't that bad. The first day's anticipation was dreadful but after the shot I see I have nothing to worry about. I had read blogs of other women explaining the pain they felt after the shots but my experience was a piece of cake. Yeah it stung a little but that was it. Thank God. I would have hated to fear this process for the next 6-8 days. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the other day the nurse told me that there is a possiblitly that the process could end sooner than planned. When I start the daily monitoring if they notice that I have enough mature follicles present then they may trigger me sooner than day 10. I am very hopeful considering the fact that each monitoring appoinment cost about $300. Let's do the math. Each visit is $300 and they have scheduled 6 visits-that is $1800 just for doctor's visits. Did I mention my insurance does not cover any of the cost. Here is their explanantion: The decision to have a child is a life choice just as an abortion; therefore infertility is not a covered diagnosis. Does that make any since? My husband and I pay over $250/month for medical insurance. We are both generally healthy people. However, the ONE medical issue that I am faced with is not covered by my insurance. THAT IS RIDICULOUS!!! The wrong thing that you say to a woman who can't have children naturally is that her desire to have children is merely a "choice of life". I feel I have a cause to fight. There has got to be a change in the world of infertility. There was no choice for my body to lack the things necessary to conceive naturally. There is however, a human right to have children. People are out there getting procedures such as Lasik Eye Surgery- no one is telling them that "seeing" is a choice of life. Oh yeah I am very upset. My husband and I have had to save for a while to pay for this process, and we still weren't fully prepared. BUT GOD!!!! He has blessed me with great friends. Just when we thought that the financial sacrifice was too great to conquer, God sent our friends to help. One of my best friends and her husband offered to finance the monitoring visits for us. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed by their generosity. It was just enough to motivate us to finish this race we've started. THANKS WARRENS. We love you. (The Finchs and baby Finch :) )

Say What?!!??!!

Today was my first follicle ultrasound. On the way to the doctor, I had no clue as to what we were checking for. I've been to so many appointments and checked for so many things that I am somewhat lost in the whole scheme of things. However, I soon found out that we were checking to see how many follicles were present on each ovary that could possibly receive an egg during ovulation. The ultrasound tech explained that about 7-8 follicles on each ovary was adequate for the process to work. She then told me that I have 15 follicles on my right ovary and 27 on the left. This next statement absolutely blew my mind. The tech looked at me and says, "Wow...You're Fertile"!! SAY WHAT?!!??!! In all my years of ob/gyn, endocrynology and reproductive biology visits, I have never heard those words. I walked out of that room smiling as if that tech had placed my baby right in my hands. Yeah, I know it may not seem to be that big of a deal but in the infertility world, GOOD NEWS is GREAT NEWS.


So the hormone injections begin tonight. I was prescribed 1vial of Bravelle and 1 vial of Menupur for ten days. I'm ready for this!! I'm not sure of any side effects I may feel, or what mood I'll be in; but I keep reminding myself that all "mothers" make sacrifices for their children. My sacrifices are just having to start a little earlier than most. I'm excited!!

My Faith Declaration: In Jesus' Name it SHALL be done!!!

It's Here!!!

Never before have I been this excited for bloating, cramping, and moody irritation; but knowing that I am one step closer to meeting my baby makes it all worth wild. So this morning, the menstrual began. I kind of knew it was coming because the symptoms started long before it began. I called the doctor and my nurse said for me to come in first thing in the morning. I am excited, nervous, and a little scared. Most likely I will be told to start the shots tomorrow night. This is really happening! :)